Bone Master
by startobek
Summary: After getting caught trying to steal a rotting sea creature corpse from a black market auction, Bone Master is forced to join the budding Young Justice team. There's just one problem. Bone Master is a weird oddball with telekinetic control over bones and Robin and Kid Flash hate him. For some reason. "Guys! Why don't you like me!"..."Guys?"... "Meanies!"
1. Things Happened

AN: So, I've had this idea for Bone Master for a long time. He's odd and I love him. This is the first time in a long time I've posted a fanfic online, I think the last one was also a YJ fanfic, called Whisper Runner over on an old account. But I was like 13 when I posted that and it probably sucks. Either way, if this gets a few kudos I'll probably post more as I go along writing in my free time.

I also don't have anyone editing this as a beta, so if you see a mistake, don't be afraid to comment and tell me.

* * *

Humming the mission impossible theme song, a young boy flipped the bird to a rock wall. Said finger started to glow a vivid purple and an elephant skeleton seemed to spill out from the roman numeral 'III' tattooed right below the second knuckle. With a laugh, the boy jumped back as his entire right hand was engulfed in the same purple also now covering the huge skeleton before him.

A lopsided grin crept onto his face and with a clearly exaggerated fake Jamaican accent he commanded, "Charge, Jumbo!" He held his hand forward and the massive skeleton seemingly came to life, running full speed at the rock wall. The wall cracked.

"Again!"

The elephant skeleton ran at the wall again, taking out enough for the tall skinny boy to wiggle his way through. Tan fingers snapped and the skeleton disappeared in a flash back to where it came. With a chuckle, Bone Master readjusted his overly large purple trench coat and marched to the opening he had created. Once through to the other side, he broke into barking laughter, "You think it would be harder to break into the batcave!"

Almond shaped eyes peered around the cave and shined with enthrallment once they found what they had been searching for, "It's true! Batman does have a t-rex!" Clambering closer, he suddenly paused, "But is there an actual skeleton under there?" He narrowed his eyes in concentration and they began to glow just as his hand had.

"Bah! Ag jou hol man! Fucking hell!" Stomping his foot, he threw up his hands, "I came all the way here only to find out that this t-rex isn't even real!" Pouting, he crossed his arms, "Now what do I do?"

He froze as a long shadow came down upon him from behind. Slowly, he turned around and gulped as he met the gaze of Batman.

"Now, you tell me who you are and what you're doing here."

Cackling, the boy beamed up at the glaring superhero and cheekily answered, "I call myself Bone Master." His eyes glanced back to the t-rex, "And I'm disappointed that you don't have an actual t-rex. I could've been in Salem hours ago and shopping for new things to mess around with."

Batman snapped his arm forward to snatch Bone Master by the back of his coat, but missed as the boy ducked and quickly moved away.

"Boo. Be nice, I'm a guest. Though I guess I'm technically an intruder, since I smashed a wall to get in here."

A batarang nearly pierced the boy's coat tail.

Pouting, Bone Master dashed sporadically about the batcave with Batman on his heels, "This reminds me of when I was in Kenya and I upset a pride of lions! That was the trip I got Jumbo."

Batman didn't respond to the erratic comment and continued chasing the boy around the cave.

It was clear the hero wasn't trying his best to catch the boy, in some attempt to make sure he didn't accidentally harm the child while in pursuit, but Bone Master gleefully took advantage of the fact and climbed up onto the bat computer. "This is awesome! I'd tell people about this, but I doubt they'd believe-"

Batman handcuffed him.

"You know, I'm pretty sure I heard a woman call being handcuffed 'coquin' and this just makes my understanding of the word even worse."

Without a word, Bone Master was led to a interrogation chamber, and then secured to a metal chair. Batman glared at him, "How did you find this place?"

He laughed, "I followed the batmobile!" The boy stared off in space for a second, "Or I suppose I followed the rat I put into the batmobile's exhaust pipe."

"You came close enough to the batmobile to put a rat into its exhaust pipe, why?"

"Technically, I made it do that while I stood in a condemned apartment."

Batman pressed the topic, "You can control animals?"

The boy blinked and frowned, "I'm still disappointed that the t-rex isn't real."

"I am going to keep you in that chair until you answer my questions."

Laying his head back, Bone Master stared at the ceiling and off handedly answered with his eyes now closed, "The answers you seek, lie within you. Also, I'm bored."

Silence danced by until Batman broke it, "You broke into the cave to see if I had an actual t-rex."

"I'm gonna have to go all the way to like, the Smithsonian now to see if they have a real one. It's gonna take forever to walk that far."

"What's your name? I'm calling your parents."

"Hahaha, that's a good one." Bone Master chuckled and grinned, "I told you, my name is Bone Master. Good luck calling my parents though. If you find them, tell them I said they forgot to pick me up from the babysitter's." The boy began to swing his feet and clicked his tongue, "Hey, do you think if I leave within the next couple of hours, I'll be able to catch a bus or something out of town?"

"You don't live in Gotham."

Bone Master cackled again, "The world's greatest detective has solved the case!"

The dark knight turned to leave the cell, "I'm going to make some calls."

Humming bellowed in response. Batman left and Bone Master immediately opened his eyes, which started to glow purple at the top of his irises and bright yellow at the bottom. The thumb on his right hand flashed purple and a skeleton of a squirrel appeared the floor behind him, "Nutty buddy! If you would be so kind as to pick the handcuffs' lock?" Chittering noise replied and clicking noises sounded as Bone Master wiggled his fingers the entire time

Click

"Hahaha, thank you!" The boy stood up and stretched his arms, "And now to leave!" His eyes flashed again and his middle finger glimmered, a burst of light slipped past the cracks of the locked door before him. Bone Master crouched underneath the metal table bolted to the floor, "Charge, Jumbo!"

Crash

The wall was decimated. Bone Master climbed out from underneath the table and hollered at the top of his lungs as he and his skeletons fled to the crack in the wall he had made earlier, "YOLO!"

Batman moved to grab the boy, but had to dodge the raging elephant skeleton instead. The dark knight used his graphing hook to pull himself to the rafters in time to see the monstrous skeleton disappear in a flurry of purple and Bone Master slip away. He swung down and raced outside, only to barely be able to make out three glowing smudges carrying off a blur screaming, "Caw! Caw! Motherfucker!"

* * *

"Up next for auction, we have the remains of a creature from the deep dark abyss of the ocean!"

Bone Master smirked from his place high above the audience watching the auction, "Bingo." He shifted onto the balls of his feet and cracked his neck as he watched as a cadaver was wheeled onto stage. The aquatic black body smelt revolting even from where he was, but the razor sharp teeth in the deceased thing's mouth were enchanting. Oh, the damage he could do controlling that skeleton.

Bone Master cleared his throat and threw himself off the ledge he had been on, jumping off foothold to foothold and landed on the makeshift stage, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'll be taking thi-" A gunshot echoed and a bullet sped past his head. His smirk twisted into a nasty grin, "I hear you all loud and clear, let's do this the fun way!" The teenager held up his right hand and the roman numeral 'II' shimmered on his pointer finger, releasing a swarm of glowing purple piranha skeletons.

The audience broke out in screams and commands were shouted out. Half the people raced towards the exits, and a handful in suits pooled onto the stage with guns pointed at Bone Master's head. Said teenager waved his hand and jumped up onto the table the rotting body was resting on, while tsking, "How rude! My pointedly toothed pretties, fetch the boom twigs!"

Cackling, his swarm of piranhas flew forward and stole all the guns from his attackers. All the men called out in pain and clenched at their hands, "Ya khara!"

Bone Master smiled as he crouched back down as he examined the corpse below him, "I prefer the shit." His piranhas continued circling the room and shielding the teenager as necessary, until a large boom interrupted the task at hand.

Looking up, Bone Master spotted a man in a modified old timey scuba suit. The man had a water gun pointed at Bone Master with his finger on the trigger, "Boy, I don't know who you are, but if you don't-"

"If I don't what?"

The water gun's trigger was pulled and on instinct, Bone Master dived onto the floor. Slowly, he got back up and whistled as he stared at the the large hole in the wall behind him, "I now know what." He turned around and noted who was in front of him, "Aren't you that dude, Sea Thief?"

Sea Thief took another shot at the teen, "I am and I'm the last person you'll ever meet."

Frantically, Bone Master dodged the blast of water headed in his direction and rolled off the stage with a grunt. He waved his hand around wildly, making his skeletal fish swim around the air in a frenzy in an attempt to distract the madman with a lethal water gun after his head. The teenager flitted about the warehouse in a panic and screamed, "Petunia!" As one of his piranha was smashed into pieces.

Bone Master stopped where he stood and put up his glowing middle finger, "Viva la die, bitch! Get'em Jumbo!" The chaos was soon joined by a raging elephant skeleton, who raced directly at Sea Thief at top speed.

Sea Thief cockily pulled the trigger at the skeleton, but quickly fell into fear as he realized his high pressure water gun wasn't doing anything, was then launched into the air, and knocked unconscious as he hit his head on the ground.

"Hahaha! Beautiful! I love this game." Bone Master waved his hand one last time and all his skeletons disappeared back into the roman numerals on his hand. Cheerfully humming, the teenager hopped back on the stage and leaned over the sea creature he had scared a warehouse empty for, "And now, I get to collect-"

A long shadow came down upon Bone Master from behind. The teen awkwardly paused and turned around, "Long time no see, Batman." He glanced around the room and spotted multiple other heroes, such as Aquaman, a Green Lantern, and Hawkwoman.

Sighing, Bone Master questioned in his ever present fake Jamaican accent, "I'm in trouble aren't I?"

* * *

"Speedy was so wrong."

"This team thing might just work out."

Kaldur, Wally, and Robin turned to leave the mission room, but the zeta tube stopped them in their tracks.

"04- Flash"

"06-Aquaman"

"14-Green Lantern"

"Hey, Flash! What's going on?" Wally greeted his uncle.

The boy wonder nodded at his side with an eyebrow cocked, "I thought the league was busting a black market auction in Jordan?"

Flash sighed, "We did, someone just beat us there first."

"Who could beat the league to a black market auction?" M'gann questioned, floating closer and landing beside Kaldur, "Was there a supervillain attack?"

"02-Batman and guest"

"We're about to find out."

Out from the zeta tube came the dark knight carrying a yammering teenaged boy by the back of his purple trench coat, "I'm just saying, you guys could've let me keep the thing's bones."

Groaning, Robin frowned, "Please tell me Bone Master isn't going to be here long."

"I love you too, Traffic Light."

"Wait," Kaldur interjected, "This is Bone Master?"

"I'm confused." M'gann glanced back and forth between everyone, "Why do you do you all look so irritated?"

Bone Master wiggled and squirmed as he saw something that he caught his attention, "Hey, who's the broody hulk of a guy in the corner?"

He was ignored as Batman stepped forward without putting down the adolescent, he was holding off the ground, "Bone Master has agreed to a parole arrangement with the Justice League instead of being put into prison."

"Hey! Hey! Broody! I like your shirt!"

Superboy ignored Bone Master and crossed his arms as he listened to the conversation taking place.

"He will be put on the team and watched around the clock, until it is decided he has been rehabilitated."

"You can't be serious, Batman!" Robin protested.

Desperately, Wally agreed. "Please tell me that was a joke, a very bad disturbing joke!"

"Hey, Broody! Have you seen Aladdin? You seem like someone who's secretly into Disney."

"Is he that evil?" M'gann asked Kaldur.

He shook his head, "Not in the way you're thinking. From what Robin and Wally have told me, Bone Master is…" Kaldur paused, trying to think of the best word to use.

"Come on Broody, sing it with me! Prince Ali, Fabulous he! Ali Ababwa!~"

"Unique."

Flash nodded and watched as Wally and Robin finagled the details from Batman, "The kid is definitely something, but being around all of you will help straighten him out."

"Flash," Wally began as he came up to his uncle while Robin kept on Batman, "There is no straightening Bone Master out. There's no putting him back on track!" The red head raised his voice as he gestured his hands, "Bone Master is insane!"

"Kid," the older speedster sighed, "It's the same situation as Trickster, just different ways of acting out."

"Oh, no! Trickster calms down and makes sense after taking his medication! Bone Master is just- just- Bwah!"

Batman put the singing teenager down onto his feet, "Robin, the decision is final."

"But Batman!"

The dark knight put his foot down, "The team was formed to take covert missions the Justice League can not. Consider this a long term mission, rehabilitate Bone Master from his stealing tendencies."

Looks were traded and the team retreated into a line before their superiors. Bone Master stood next to Batman as the rest of the present leaguers joined him. A debrief began as soon as everyone was in place.

"Bone Master is a notorious thief-"

"Daw, thank you for the brilliant review, Batman." Said teen smiled and put his arms behind his head.

"He specifically goes after bones that peak his interest, no matter if their- rumored or confirmed-

location is a public museum, black market auction, or even the batcave."

Everyone's eyes drifted onto Bone Master as he bounced up and down on his tiptoes. He happily waved with a crooked grin.

Batman put video clips up on the holographix screen, depicting Bone Master in action. "His abilities include use of parkour, limited spatial manipulation to store pre-prepared objects, and osteokinesis, the ability to telekinetically control bones." Shown on the screen was said teenager with a bat skeleton hovering in his hand.

"Defining features include his purple trench coat, high cheekbones, gauged ears, roman numerals one through five tattooed on his right hand, his purple and yellow eyes, and his hairstyle, which consists of having one side of his head shaved and the majority in thick dreads, except for his bright yellow bangs."

Winking, Bone Master stuck his tongue out and held up a peace sign, "And I make it all work!"

The glare Batman gave Bone Monster didn't deter him in the slightest, so the dark knight went on. "We apprehended him two hours ago and brought him here. He will join the team as previously stated and will be staying at Mount Justice to be rehabilitated." An image of the outline of a person appeared on the screen with a blinking dot on the neck, "Before coming here, Bone Master was injected with a microchip to track his location and rules were established. He is not allowed to leave the premises without two members of the team and checking in with a league member before leaving and exactly every hour from then on." Batman met the gaze of everyone on the team before nodding, "Debrief over."

Green Lantern put his hand on Bone Master's shoulder, "Come on, son. I'll show you your room."

"Sweet! I need a nap."

* * *

Bone Master sat upside down on the chair a seat away from Superboy on the couch and intensively stared at the static on the television like the other boy. Kaldur and M'gann weren't sure what to make of it. Robin and Wally had left with their mentors last night, leaving the three other members of the team alone with their new member. From the debrief, Batman had made it sound like the teenager just had a tendency to barge in and steal bones from places. Yet, the way Robin and Wally passionately pleaded to be told Bone Master wasn't sticking around said a lot about him.

"Hello M'gann!" M'gann berated herself, "We never did introductions last night!" She smiled and went on, "I'm M'gann M'orzz! Earth name, Megan Morse. Codename, Miss Martian. My uncle's Martian Manhunter! It's nice to meet you!"

Bone Master smiled and waved, "Good to greet you!"

Not wanting to fall behind in common courtesy, Kaldur introduced himself, "My name is Kaldur'ahm, but my friends call me Kaldur. You may know me as Aqualad.

"Oh!" M'gann waved a hand over at the raven haired boy on the couch, "And this is Superboy! He doesn't have an earth name yet, but…" She trailed off.

Swinging his feet over his head so he was standing again, Bone Master smiled, "My name's Bone Master."

There was a pause. He hadn't mentioned his name name. In an attempt to smooth things over, M'gann quickly said, "It's okay if you don't want to share your secret identity! Robin isn't allowed to, so it's fine if you don't want us to know."

Bone Master kept his uneven smile on his face and didn't skip a beat, "Bone Master's my name. It's the one I gave myself and I don't remember having one before it." Chuckling, he spared a glance at Superboy, "Looks like I have something in common with big guns over there."

He was gifted with a grunt in response.

"Yes. I totally agree." Bone Master nodded as if something sagely had come out of Superboy's mouth and went back to his conversation his M'gann and Kaldur, "Soooooo, questions and concerns?"

Kaldur and M'gann met each other's eyes out of the corner their own.

"Bone Master? If I may ask," M'gann politely began, "Why were Robin and Wally against you being here last night?"

"The stories they told me of you were…" Kaldur paused, "Eccentric, to say the least. They spoke of you hanging out with multiple villains and mentioned you made comments that enraged them."

"Oh, I do and I did."

"What?" M'gann sputtered.

The teen fiddled with the claw tied to a leather strip around his neck as he sat back down, "Mm hm. I like to hang out with the Flash's entire rogue gallery and a few of the nicer bad guys in Gotham. Catwoman's given me some great tips to get by some really wicked security systems." With a sigh, Bone Master let the necklace charm fall back onto his chest, "I am totally going to miss movie night with Trickster and Pied Piper."

"Then," M'gann frowned, "Aren't you a bad guy?"

Kaldur held onto her shoulder comfortingly, "M'gann."

"I guess." Bone Master shrugged and put his eyes back onto the static on the tv, "I steal and stuff using my powers, so I'm a super for sure. Super what? I don't know." He bursted out laughing and pointed at the screen, "Wo cao, the writing's brilliant on this show." After choking down his laughter, he flip flopped his attention back to M'gann and Kaldur, "I don't kill, but I make chaos wherever I go. So, I'm probably a bad guy."

Bone Master cackled loudly, "But it's fun! One time, I accidentally set up a blind date between a police chief and a yakuza boss. The building went down in flames by the end of the date!"

"Hn," Superboy glared at Bone Master for the noise.

A tan hand was waved, "Fine, fine. I'll silence myself and'll quietly watch the show."

M'gann and Kaldur traded another look and retreated. They hadn't made any headway on figuring out how to feel about Bone Master.

* * *

Wally ran by Bone Master, announcing he'd be back in a few minutes so they could go. Not knowing what he meant, the bone loving teenager strayed from his target of the mission room and towards the kitchen; where M'gann was excitedly explaining the plan to Kaldur, Robin, and Superboy.

"We're going to sit under the stars and make s'mores!" She smiled, then clapped her hands, "Hello, Megan! Why don't we all go?"

Robin smirked, "Camping's fun, sounds like a plan."

Nodding, Kaldur agreed. "It would be another good team bonding experience."

"Oooo!" Bone Master slid on over and interjected, "Did I hear camping?" He pushed himself up to sit on the kitchen counter, "I love camping! Mostly out of necessity. But camping's awesome!" Purple, yellow eyes turned onto Superboy, "SB, you gotta try camping!"

The clone stared apathetically at the mad boy and then finally sighed, "Fine. I'll try camping."

Bone Master cackled, threw his head back and exclaimed,"Wonderful! Woot!"

Vibrations could be felt in the air as Wally came running back into the room, his arms filled with camping supplies, "...Gathered a couple of chairs, some firewood, scrounged the pantry for graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows, and now we'll cozy up together outside-" The speedster slowed to a stop with big eyes as he noticed everyone else in the kitchen and meekly whispered the end of his sentence, "-Just the two of us?"

Robin smirked and tilted his head, "We're going to need a lot more stuff than that if we're going camping. "

Smiling sweetly, M'gann apologized, "I hope you don't mind, I invited all the others to join in the fun with the s'mores!"

"Hahaha!" Bone Master fell off the counter with a thud, "Fast feet forget to make the invitation exclusive!" He laughed, held his stomach, and sat up on the floor, "I love it!"

"Alright," Wally frowned and put all the stuff be had grabbed on the counter, "Everyone else can come, but Bone Master is uninvited."

The thunderous laughter ended as Bone Master quieted down, "Daaw, mean." Pouting, he got back onto his feet and crossed his arms, "How come I'm the only one who gets uninvited?"

Wally gave him an unimpressed look, "Because."

"Because whhyyy?"

"Because you're a jerk."

M'gann and Kaldur exchanged glances, watching as Bone Master continued to cheekily smile and Robin moved to join Wally's side. Superboy stayed neutral and kept where he was.

"But I wanna have fun under not the sun too!" Bone Master chirped as he stood across from Wally and Robin.

"Dude," Robin began as he backed up Wally, "No, you don't. You wanna butt in where you don't belong."

"That's how it always is with you!"

Bone Master narrowed his eyes, but he quickly seemed just fine with the fact he was being kicked out from a team bonding experience. "At least I'll always have Jumbo. And eventually another Petunia."

M'gann tried to quickly think of something to say to ease the idea of Bone Master camping with them a possibility, but the zeta tube announced someone's arrival before she could.

"14-Green Lantern"

The odd teen's eyes light up in joy, "The jolly green man is here to help secure my clothes!" He pumped both his fists in the air and left the kitchen spastically happy.

It didn't take long for everyone to settle down in the campsite they created. The fire is roaring gently in the rock ring made for it, the tents are pitched, and everyone got to share their backstories and feelings. It's a good night. Things are winding down when M'gann finally asks the question she and Kaldur have been trying to figure out.

"Why do you guys hate Bone Master?"

Wally and Robin freeze and stare at her.

"Um, we don't hate hate him." Wally admits.

"He..." Robin pushes up his sunglasses while everyone looks to him, "He just doesn't get what he's messing around with. We," The boy wonder gestures to all of them, "have reasons for what we do."

"Even the villains do." Wally held up a single finger, "Trickster's family booted him out because he was super smart and wasn't good at being part of the circus, so he's a little nuts and needs his medication to figure out what he's doing." The speedster put up another finger, "Pied Piper's parents keep trying to 'fix' him because he's deaf, so he acts out by committing crime with the rogues."

Another finger was put up as Robin picked up for him, "Harley Quinn teamed up with the Joker because he manipulated her to the point she went insane. The point is," Robin's tone changed from upset to critical, "the worst of the worst do things just because they can. And that's what Bone Master does."

"And he constantly rubs it in our faces with his carefree attitude!" Wally's voice became louder, "Did you hear him back there? 'But I wanna have fun under the not sun too!' He even used that stupid fake accent he always uses! He's a brat and a jerk!"

Superboy finally got in on the whole Bone Master topic, "It just sounds like you're jealous over what he has."

"We are not!"

"We're totally whelmed on the whole thing!"

"I believe what our friend is saying," Kaldur explained, "Is that the grass is greener from the otherside."

Robin and Wally gaped at Kaldur betrayed.

"You know about Bone Master from what he's shown you and you've run with it. You've picked up what you could from the barest interactions you've had with him, if the stories you've told me are true." Kaldur met his teammates' eyes and solemnly added, "Bone Master is a part of our team, whether we like it or not. It is time to learn about him from more than what's on the surface."

Pregnant silence and tension permeated. The team sat there and thought about what Kaldur had said.

"Yeah," Robin agreed attention on the campfire, "We'll give him a chance."

"But not because he deserves one," Wally grumbled, crossing his arms.

* * *

Bone Master would need to find new songs to hum under his breath if he kept ending up in 'shh shh' types of operations. The mission impossible theme song wasn't going to cut it. It would also help if the people who stuck him on this team broke down the technical jargon for him before they sent him out on an alien spaceship over the Caribbean sea. But eh. He was here and staring out the window of the bioship while Miss Martian announced what was happening.

"Dropzone B."

Everyone stood up and attached themselves to cables, preparing to touchdown on the island. Bone Master had the least serious expression out of all of them and merrily looked from teammate to teammate. Their costumes were nice.

The way Kid Flash's costume turned black after he tapped the logo was very appealing, "How cool is this?"

Miss Martian smiled, "Very impressive." She transformed her outfit into stealth mode, earning a whistle from an applauding Bone Master, but not for the nice display of power.

"Hahaha! Quick Pace got shown up!"

He was ignored though, as Kid Flash reminded Superboy, "Not too late to put on the new stealth tech!"

"No capes, no tights, no offense." He crossed his arms and glanced at Bone Master, who hadn't changed from his usual attire of a yellow sleeveless shirt, tan cargo shorts, hiking boots, and his purple trench coat. "Not like Bone Master had to change anyway."

"I," he snapped both his fingers and did dual finger guns, "literally cried until they left me stay in my usual clothes."

"I saw. It was so manly."

"Thank you, Robin!" Bone Master showed no signs of understanding the sarcasm used.

The drop zone was reached and Robin, Kid Flash, Miss Martian, and Bone Master all came out of the bioship silently. Followed by Superboy jumping down and creating a small boom along with a crater.

"Knew I didn't need a line."

Bone Master chuckled from where he had moved out of the way to stand by Robin, "I can hear my bones thanking me for moving out of the way."

"Yeah, well, the seismic event might not of helped us with the covert part of this mission," Robin complained as he stood up.

"But I'm not dead from the seismic event," Bone Master reasoned, "So, it's all good!"

Miss Martian and Aqualad exchanged updates, then they moved out. Bone Master adamantly deciding not to move from Robin's side, followed his lead. The endeavor led him way off the path where the others were and into the trees until gunshots were heard. From where Bone Master was, he could see Kid Flash dodging bullets.

Robin jumped down from the branches and scolded his friend, "What is wrong with you guys?" He took down an opponent, "Remember covert? Why didn't you follow my lead like Bone Master? Vanish into the jungle!"

"That's what you were doing?" Kid Flash hurled a man onto the ground, "Thanks for filling us in, we're not mind readers, you know!"

A grunt from a man Miss Martian had flung into a tree interrupted Kid Flash's point.

"At least I'm not." The speedster glanced around, "Where's the jerk anyway?"

Robin gave him a look and pointed above them, "He followed my lead and vanished into the jungle."

"Yep!" Echoed disembodiedly around the area they were in, "The view's amazing! I can see everything from where I am!"

Aqualad and Superboy rejoined them as Kid Flash shouted up into the forest canopy while searching for the oddball's location, "Are you going to come down and help tie them up?"

"Why would I do that? That's overkill, you got this!"

"Kid," Aqualad interjected, "Let him be for now."

"What? Why!?" The speedster frowned, "He hasn't done anything to help!"

"Like he said. He can see everything."

Robin rolled his eyes and took out the rope as he went to start dragging unconscious men to the tree, "Might as well let him keep watch."

Eventually all the captives were anchored to the base of a thick tree and the next objective was discussed. Bone Master didn't pay mind to it and eagerly watched the bad guys squirm in place. A particular conversation between two baddies caught his attention though.

"Look at them argue! Free yourself and take them while they're distracted!"

"Quiet. For now I play along. They'll give me what I need."

Laughing, Bone Master hopped out from the tree he was hidden in and sat down in front of Bane, "I know for a matter of fact like two of the others know Spanish. Why are you openly admitting you plan to backstab anyone?" The teen put a hand under his chin and speculated, "That's like backstabbing a backstabber when you're the backstabber and-"

Bane gave the boy a once over, "Aren't you that stupid boy, who barged into a venom trade five months ago, saying to ignore you because you were just there to take the puma skeleton?"

"Yes. Yes, I am, but I wanted to know about the backstabbing stabby Mc-"

"Hey! Why is Bone Master cozying up to Bane?" Kid Flash yanked Bone Master back by his trench coat.

Bone Master, now flat out on his back grinned, "I'm trying to figure out how he's gonna betray us."

"And now the parolee is trying to take things into his own hands!"

Robin rolled his eyes again, "At least he listened to me earlier."

"You're not in charge!"

"Hahaha," Bane crowed, "Such clever ninõs, but you only know half the story. Let me you show the rest, get you into the factory via my secret entrance."

"That sounds like an innuendo and I'm disturbed." Bone Master braced his hands and rolled his feet over his head in order to stand up, "I'll be behind Superboy."

Miss Martian put a hand to her head and concentrated, "There is a secret entrance, but he's hiding something."

"Our doom!" Bone Master softly wailed from behind his super shield.

"Ah, ah, ah, chica. Bane is not that easy."

"Innuendo!"

Groaning, Miss Martian got to her feet, "He's reciting fútbol scores in Español. This could take awhile."

Bane interjected, "It's not complicated. The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

The team shared a contemplating glance and Bone Master opened his eyes wide in alarm, "Didn't this guy once break Batman's back?"

Purple and yellow eyes didn't once leave Bane's back as the team made their way into the factory. No matter how much Bone Master tried to remind them he had been probing Bane for his plans to betray them earlier, no one listened and now they were following Bane into the factory.

As soon as they were inside Robin disappeared, to which Bane commented, "Did that little fool already get himself caught?"

"Don't you fight Batman?"

Aqualad monotonously replied, "No, he just does that."

"Stay put!" Kid Flash pulled down his goggles, "I'll grab our intel and be back before the boy wonder!"

"Wait, Kid-" Aqualad reached to stop him but it was too late.

"Great chain of command," Bane remarked.

The group got into place to observe the warehouse workings.

Bone Master clambered onto top of a cargo box and stared at all the Kobra cult members, "The Cult of Kobra's here?"

"Bone Master." Aqualad cocked an eyebrow and backed away to confront Bone Master more directly, "They have been here the entire-"

"I know, it's just-" He climbed down from where he was and sighed, "Let's just say it's only now sunk in that they're here, I'm really popular in the magic community, and cults have very strong opinions." Bone Master gulped and took another peek.

"Will that be an issue?"

"Uhhh," Bone Master paused and racked his mind for an answer, "I don't think it will be. The Cult of Kobra are big on some prophecy and I don't think it has anything to do with what I deal with."

Aqualad nodded but didn't seem to believe him, "Then we will proceed."

"They're only taking new product off the line," Superboy reported. "They're not touching the old stuff."

"Maybe freshness counts?" Miss Martian offered.

Bone Master nodded, "It counts for everything else."

"There's a helicopter coming."

"Goodie. Now, it's really like the last time I bumped into a cult."

"Alright," Aqualad's eyes swept the perimeter, "Miss Martian, see if you can get a look at who's arriving on the helicopter. Bone Master, find a new angle in the room to watch things from as a midway point. Superboy and I will get onto the catwalk and observe things from there."

"Aye, aye, Chief!" Bone Master mocked a salute and headed on out until he was stationed behind a large crate in the middle of the room. It wasn't too long after that things fell apart and action ravaged the room.

Bane jumped down from the catwalk and attacked two cult members with guns, sending bullets flying. Then a giant lumpy gray man smashed through the warehouse windows roaring at the top of his lungs, forming a standoff with the cult of Kobra members on his side. Finally, someone commanded for the guy to 'destroy them' and the lumpy man ran forward, only to be tackled by Superboy. The cultists weren't far behind and went in guns blazing with Kaldur putting up a small shield in front of himself.

Not to be left out, Bone Master put up a glowing finger gun and screamed, "When I come through, I come through, I come through like a machine gun! Ra ta ta ta! RA TA TA TA TA!" A small army of skeletal piranhas spilled out of the roman numeral tattooed to his finger and they swam around trying to snag guns out of occultist's hands.

More occultists continued to pour into the warehouse battleground and so Aqualad yelled, "Miss Martian, Radio is jammed. Link us up!"

'Everyone online?'

'Yeah,' Superboy noted.

'You know it, beautiful.'

Bone Master laughed as he swung his hand around while rolling out of the way of a wave of bullets, 'This is exactly like the last time I met up with an occult. Voices in my head and all.' For no apparent reason he felt like having one of his skeleton piranhas go straight for his face, so he made one come to him and ducked at the last second, taking out an occult member who had been trying to sneak up on him. That made him smile, "Take that, bitch!"

'Good, we need to regroup.'

'Busy,' Robin's voice rang.

Bone Master had one of his piranha's bit a guy's shoulder when he went to reload his gun, "You go, Pansy!"

'Robin. Now.'

'I'd listen to him, Traffic Light.'

'Fine, give me a second.'

A moment passed, and Robin entered the scene. Aqualad acknowledged it and pushed some men back with a water whip, 'Strategic retreat. Kid, clear a path.'

Everyone ran for it and Bone Master recalled most of his piranhas into his tattooed knuckle as he came in behind Miss Martian, with Superboy dealing with the large lumpy man behind him. The entire team sprinted down the tunnel Bane had showed them, Superboy knocking down the support beams after Aqualad made the call. It made a portion of the tunnel collapse around them, but it gave them the reprieve they needed.

The purple glow of Bone Master's piranhas illuminated the section they were in as they hovered around the top of the cave the collapse had created. Everyone soberly took in what had happened.

Robin broke the tension, "How could my first mission as leader go so wrong?"

"You do have the most experience," Aqualad comforted, "But perhaps that is exactly what has left you most unprepared. Fighting alongside Batman, your roles are defined and you do not need to talk." The Atlantean adjusted his footing as everyone listened, "This team is new. Its leader must be explicit, clear. They cannot vanish and expect its members to play unspoken parts in an unknown plan."

"Oh, so I'm suppose to hold everyone's hands?"

Staring at his wiggling fingers controlling his fish night lights, Bone Master whispered so quietly only Superboy could hear him as he let himself sit on the ground, "Yes… That would've helped. Yes." He paused in his ramblings, " I have no fucking idea what's going on."

Sighing, Robin finally relented, "Who am I kidding? You should lead us, Kaldur. You're the only one who can."

"Please-"

"Let Fish Man lead, Speed Limit!" Bone Master lamented from the floor.

Robin ignored the bone thief, "Wally, come on. You know he's the one. We all do."

"Hello, Megan! It's so obvious!"

"Could uh told ya."

"The gilled one has literally led the rest of us the entire mission, he has my vote."

The speedster glanced around as everyone stared at him, "Okay."

Aqualad turned to Robin, "Then I accept the burden until you are ready to lift it from my shoulders. You were born to lead this team. Maybe not now, but soon."

Robin nodded.

"Alright, our first priority is preventing that shipment from leaving this island." Aqualad commended.

Bone Master got back onto his feet, "Now that we have a leader, can I ask about what we're going to do about Bane preparing to betray us?"

"Not this again," Kid Flash complained. "We all saw you buddying up with Bane! You have any proof?"

Bone Master put his hands up, "We already had our dramatic heart to heart for the day, can't you just believe me? Did none of you hear Bane say he was gonna play along to get what he wants?" He met everyone's eyes, "Please!"

The rest of the team exchanged glances. No one wanted to take the unpopular side of the argument.

Bone Master frowned and crossed his arms. "Please!" He pleaded.

Sighing, Superboy raised a hand, "I know Bane and one of the grunts were talking before Bone Master jumped in to talk with them."

"Bane did start the fight earlier by jumping into the fray without warning," Aqualad agreed. "It wouldn't go without merit if we were prepared for the eventuality of Bane coming back to potentially take us out."

Bone Master clapped his hands and grinned, "Thank you!"

Plans were made and they set out. They cleared enough debris away and went on down the tunnel with Robin checking out the situation on the holographic computer in his glove, "Sportmaster is the supplier slash buyer, but it still doesn't track. He doesn't have the juice to acquire the blockbuster formula or get Kobra to do his dirty work."

"And neither of them have the chomps to bond blockbuster with venom. That took some major nerd-age." Kid Flashed added.

"I believe," Aqualad started, "The expression is tip of the iceberg."

They all stopped just short of the tunnel's exit, where Bane dropped some explosives at their feet. "Halt ninõs. I'm feeling explosive."

Beeps sounded from above them, revealing more explosives planted above them.

'No way, Bone Master was right?' Kid Flash complained over the link.

'I told you all!'

'In hindsight, this is Bane we were talking about.' Robin admitted.

Aqualad faked disbelief about the ordeal to Bane, "You betrayed us. Why?"

"I want my factory back."

'Kid,' Aqualad caught his attention, 'You'll need a running start.'

"So I forced you into a situation where you would either take down my enemies or die trying."

Bone Master pouted, "I told you guys he was hiding our doom."

"Ninõ," Bane said, "you might've been right but you're going to be dead wrong-" The villain went to click the button to ignite the explosions but found the trigger was missing from his hand.

Kid Flash smirked from where he was leaning against a tree, "How? With this trigger thingy?"

A large fist was swung in his direction, but missed as Bane was levitated into the air.

The team stepped out of the tunnel and Superboy readied his own knuckle sandwich, "Finally. Drop him."

Bane was hit out of the park.

"This is the one time," Robin murmured, "I will say Bone Master was right."

The bone thief put up two thumbs up, "First time for everything, Traffic Light."

"And because you called me 'traffic light' again, this will be the last time as well."

Bone Master shrugged, "I can live with that." He held up his middle finger and released Jumbo the elephant skeleton, "Just like I can live with Jumbo going in first to mix things for up the bad guys."

"Actually," Aqualad butted in, "I have another job for you next, Bone Master. The cult of Kobra will be preoccupied and an opportunity will open up for us."

"Hm?"

That job was sweeping through the factory to make sure there wasn't anything they had missed. From where Bone Master was, he could hear the battle ramping up. The factory was empty at this point, not a single cult member to be seen- thankfully, Bone Master definitely dreaded finding out whether or not anybody higher up in the cult would recognize him- so everything was quiet from where he was. However, time was ticking down fast and if he wanted to find anything of use, Bone Master would need to pick up the pace.

Eventually he made it to a backroom, probably used as a breakroom seeing as there was a couch in the corner of the room. It didn't look like there was anything in there though. But it was the last room to check.

Bone Master stepped inside to get a closer look, but paused when he felt a tile move under his foot. He frowned, leaned over to move the tile away, and found a staircase hidden beneath the floor.

The tall teen was about to climb down the stairs to explore, when Aqualad's voice rang out in his head, 'Bone Master, head back. The explosives have been set.'

'On it.'

He pushed the tile back and ran the hell out of dodge. It seemed like he wouldn't get to find out what was down those stairs.

The factory exploded right after Bone Master got outside, and he only made it to the team's side after Robin came over to Aqualad to say, "We picked the right guy to lead. Automatically making you the right guy to explain this mess to Batman." The boy wonder laughed and walked away from the Atlantean.

"Sooooo," Bone Master began as he got closer, "I found a secret staircase." The tan boy glimpsed at the fire behind him,"It might've been important buuuut," He rubbed the back of his had,"I'm pretty sure it's destroyed now."

Aquald sighed.

* * *

AN: Alright, comment and follow for more! Look me up on Tumblr at Papercranecolors. I do art commissions and post stuff I draw along with the occasional theory. The picture of Bone Master you see as the cover is one of mine! This is also cross posted on AO3 under my wishin4reincarnation account.


	2. Skee Ball and Pie

A/N: Hey everyone! Next Chapter! Some notes here and there. Superboy may seem out of character in some parts, but I'm trying to make the relationship between him and Bone Master be one of the one's where you act completely different around this one person because you just click. Another note, this chapter doesn't feel polished to me yet, but it's a point where I feel comfortable leaving it as is and coming back in a few chapters. Oh! And I know one of you requested this to be a Bone Master x Robin fic, I'm not sure about that yet. There's going to be two points where the relationship between them changes in some way and maybe that'll set my mind on that. Once more, If you see a mistake tell me in the reviews and I'll correct it.

Bone Master leaned over the back of the couch and wrapped his arms around Superboy, "Superboy, SB, Son of a Bitch, Supey, Broody, Pal of min-"

Sighing, Superboy dignified him with a response, "What do you want?"

"Please go into town with M'n'M and me?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Becaaaause," Bone Master dragged out the word as he pulled himself closer to the clone, "Without you, I can't leave Mount Justice because Batman said I had to have two members of the team with me."

"I'm still waiting for the reason I should go."

The apathetic tone made Bone Master pout as he perched his chin on Superboy's shoulder, "Well, if you don't come with, then I can't go."

"Uh-huh."

"If I can't go, then I have to stay here."

"Uh-huh."

"Which means you'll be stuck with me after I had to be quiet for a covert mission."

A pause. Then Superboy got up and sighed, "Should've led with that."

"Woot!" The skinny boy threw his hands up in the air and ran from the room yelling, "I'll tell Red Tornado!"

M'gann smiled from the kitchen, "I've never seen someone so excited for grocery shopping." She laughed and grabbed her purse off the counter, "I think you made his day."

"I saved my ears," Superboy deadpanned as he walked away to get his shoes from his room.

The walk into town was akin to a pair of parents walking their toddler to the park. Bone Master flitted about to whatever caught his attention- which was everything- while M'gann and Superboy watched. But then Bone Master lit up as he saw a colorful building with music flooding out of it.

"An arcade!" The skeleton thief ran forward and clapped his hands, "We need to go in there and blow everyone out of the water." Bone Master stopped and looked over to his companions, "Get it? Blow? Because I'm Bone Master?"

Superboy and M'gann stared at him.

The skinny teen found the nearest security camera and peered right into it, "My brilliant sense of humor is wasted on them." He turned back around and grinned, "So, are we going into the arcade?"

"Well," M'gann began, "I still need to get things from the store, but," she turned to Superboy, "If you wanna go in with him, I'll be back soon."

His expression was blank. Anyone could tell he didn't want to go into the arcade. Sighing again, Superboy made an excuse, "Don't arcades take cash? I'm not sure Batman would appreciate us using part of the grocery budget to play games."

Bone Master pulled out a wad of one-hundred dollar bills and twenties from his cargo shorts' pocket, "I'll pay."

The two non-humans gawked at the large sum of money in their teammate's hand. They shared a glance, before M'gann finally asked, "Um, Bone Master where did you get that cash?"

"Sometimes when I break into places to get skeletons, there's people fighting. And one party will freak out and leave." Bone Master blinked innocently and tilted his head, "So, the other people will laugh and give me money because I did a good job." He put a tanned hand under his chin, "Other times, I'll buy interesting stuff wherever I am and then I'll get bored with it and someone in the magic community will get very excited and give me money for whatever I have." The odd teen bursted out laughing, "I don't really understand, but it's very exciting!"

Superboy sighed for what felt like the millionth time today, "Just don't steal it." The clone crossed his arms,"And you know what?" He motioned towards the grocery store, "Taking him shopping for groceries is a bad idea. I'll watch him in the arcade."

The Martian pursed her lips, "Are you sure?"

He was sure. Bone Master had his face squished against the arcade window. If they dragged the skinny boy into anywhere that wasn't prepared for hyperactive adolescents, then they'd be kicked out within five minutes.

"Well, then," M'gann nodded, "Alright! I'll see you guys soon!" She waved and walked off to the store.

Superboy glanced down to the hand on his arm and futilely glared at Bone Master.

"Now," Bone Master commended as he gazed upon the arcade, "We venture forth into the realm of the fantasm."

The arcade was a mom and pop establishment, so its interior wasn't beyond belief for most people, but for Superboy- who only had an idea of what an arcade was- it was awe inspiring. The black walls had squiggles in glow in the dark paint all across them and the floor was carpeted with an older design that spat a. overwhelming pattern into your face. There were rows of games throughout the middle of the room, with flashing screens.

"Woot!"

Superboy steered his attention onto Bone Master, who was pumping his fist in the air as he ran to the back of the arcade after having cashed in a couple twenties for quarters, "There's skee ball! And they're nowhere near the claw machines!"

Following behind the bone thief, Superboy cocked an eyebrow, "Why is that important?"

Inserting the required quarters to play, shoving a handful over to Superboy, and then pocketing the rest, Bone Master finally answered, "They remind me of lobsters and I hate lobsters."

"Why do you hate lobsters?"

"They disappoint me." Bone Master mournfully gazed up at the ceiling, "They're made of cartilage. It devastated me when I found out I couldn't control them, almost as bad as the time I found out museums usually only have parts of skeletons and not the entire thing." He laughed and rolled a skee ball into the one hundred hole, "Better than the 'sharks are cartilage' fiasco."

Superboy stood there in disbelief, "You didn't know sharks were made of cartilage?"

"No," Bone Master rolled the skee ball and got another one hundred added onto his score, "James didn't know sharks were made of cartilage and that's why I can do oversplits."

"Oversplits?"

The bone thief grinned at the clone, "Would you like to see?"

"No."

"Mean." Bone Master picked up the rest of the skee balls for his game and rolled them all one after another, all but the last one making it. The tan teen fell to his knees and yelled, "And now the skee ball god has forsaken me? For shame!" He sucked in a deep breath of air and wailed, "FOR SHAME!"

"What the hell, man?" A teenager dressed in a varsity jacket came up to Superboy, "What's wrong with your friend?"

Superboy frowned and crossed his arms, "There's nothing wrong with him."

The preppy boy sneered and pointed at Bone Master, who had stopped playfully complaining and was now watching what was happening, "He's one of those autistic freaks, isn't he? You're just trying to keep it in the down low. Control him!" Preppy wrinkled his nose in disgust, "Look at him! He's still on the floor!"

Slowly, Bone Master got onto his feet and weakly smiled, still talking in his fake accent he apologized, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

"So, you're one of the ones that can actually talk?"

"Yeah…" Bone Master whispered, "Yeah, I can."

The blond preppy boy groaned, "Apparently not very well."

Superboy's eyes narrowed, and he stepped between the two, "Be quiet."

"What?"

"You heard me." Superboy stepped closer and at six foot one, he towered over the annoying blond who kept taking jabs at his friend, "Take a hike."

Tsking, the prissy prep glimpsed over Superboy's imposing physique and thought about something for a moment before huffing and walking away, "You'll regret messing with me," he warned. "My dad funds the high school's football team."

Superboy glanced over to Bone Master, who had his head bowed and his shoulders hunched. Awkwardly, the clone put a hand on the other's shoulder, "Uh, you alright?"

An indistinguishable noise slipped from Bone Master as his shoulders shook. Superboy cringed. He didn't know what to do if someone was-

"Hahaha," the bone thief picked up his head, "That was the whitest white boy I've ever seen. Did you hear him?" Bone Master did finger quotes,"He was all like, 'You'll regret this. My dad's gonna hear about this.'" The bone thief chuckled and put his hands in his trench coat pockets, "Should've told him Batman was my parole officer."

Bone Master was fine, Superboy realized. Maybe not _okay_, the weird haired teen was hurt by what had happened, but he wasn't going to let some guy ruin his day.

"Pfft," the clone put on a crooked grin of his own, "You're too skin and bones for anyone to believe that."

"Oh my skee ball god, my sense of humor wasn't wasted on you." Bone Master threw his head back in laughter and put an arm around Superboy, "I'll make a normal teenager out of you yet."

"I don't think you know what that is, but I could live with being the exact opposite of that guy."

Bone Master hummed, "You could grow out the top of your hair and keep the sides short, get a long fade. Your hair would probably curl if it was longer." The bone thief pointed at his own ears, "We could get your ears pierced!" He wiggled his eyebrows and took out some quarters for another round of skee ball, "You could get a matching crop top with me."

A snort came from Superboy as he started his own game of skee ball, "The hair I can get behind and pierced ears are something I'd consider, but you're on your own with the crop top."

They were at the arcade for an hour, with a break to call Red Tornado to let him know not to call the calvary to collect them, before they met up with M'gann.

Bone Master jumped up and down the entire way home retelling everything they had done, "Once we finished skee ball, SB and I screamed our heads off playing pacman." The tan boy twirled around to face the Martian as they made their way to the mountain, "Let me tell ya, Broody is the best pacman player ever to grace the earth. He wouldn't stop bragging about it until we caught up with you, right, Supey?"

Said clone grunted.

Pouting, Bone Master put his hands behind his head, "Aw, come on! You were really talkative when we were at the arcade!"

M'gann giggled, "I'm sure he was, Bone Master."

"I'm telling you he was!"

The Martian nodded and exchanged a look with Superboy, "It's okay Superboy, I know you're quiet."

"Bwah!"

* * *

Bone Master hummed from where he was watching the television, draped on the couch upside down. At five in the morning, the mountain was pretty quiet. Beside him sat Superboy, watching the tv static buzz. M'gann was still asleep and none of the other team members had come over yet. It was just the two boys.

"Do you think Dawn will ever confront her father about her rights as his daughter?"

The clone grunted.

"Yeah, you're right. Dawn's father is too much of a dick."

Snorting, Superboy shook his head, "You're an idiot."

"Only as much as Dawn's friend, Veronica, is. The writing on this show is amazing."

Silence crept by and Superboy frowned as certain trains of thought whirled through his head, "You know a lot about the heroes on the league, right?"

"I know nothing about the league. Nothing at all," Bone Monster implored.

Superboy rolled his eyes, "I've seen you with one of the tablets, the league left us to study up on bad guys. I know it connects to the database on the league members, so people can familiarize themselves with people they might have to work with on missions."

Blinking innocently, Bone Master shook his head, "Nope. No idea what you're talking about. " The tan boy winked, "But it sounds like you could use a friend's help, so I shall assist you anyway!"

"Right," Superboy waved off whatever just took place and continued, "What… What do you know about Superman?"

"That he and Batman regularly go to this place called Bibbo's Diner. The apple pie supposedly tastes like Mama Superman's." Bone Master sat up and moved himself around so he was sitting right on the couch. "The big blue boyscout goes there to get his fix, so he doesn't bother his mom."

Superboy frowned, "Anything else?"

"Booster Gold and Black Lightning also do heroing stuff in Metropolis, but they aren't Superman, so no one brings it up?" Bone Master offered.

The clone groaned and let his head fall back onto the couch.

"I'm guessing," Bone Master began, "you want to hear whether or not the big guy will come and accept you or something." The bone thief leaned his head on the back of the couch, "I don't know about that, Broody. Believe it or not, Batman's the hero I deal with the most. The Flash is a close runner up."

Bone Master got up and stretched, "This is probably a scenario where a cutscene with you confronting Superman would take place. You want answers, you're gonna have to get'em yourself sometimes." He stuck his hands into his coat pockets, "Gotta warn you, people like running from their problems. If you go to the big guy, it's fifty-fifty he freaks and jumps the boat."

The clone got up and nodded, "I think it's time I got answers."

"Ooo, do me a favor!" Bone Master grabbed a few bills from his pockets and held them up, "Find Bibbo's and get like five apple pies!" He smirked, "If things go well, we celebrate with pie. Things crash and burn because parents can be as helpful as the gum on the bottom of our shoes, we drown our sorrows with pie. We win either way because pie." The shorter boy paused, "And if seeing Superman sucks, I'll find every dark secret he has, blab it all to you, and sneak some revenge in for myself, SB."

The clone snorted, "I'll hold you to that."

After Superboy left, Bone Master was on his own. M'gann eventually got up, then made breakfast for the two, and around fifteen minutes 'til one Aqualad, Traffic Light, and Hot Sauce showed up one after another dressed in their costumes. Miss Martian took the time to go change into her's, Bone Master lived in his costume so he was fine. A game of air hockey had started up but paused, when the zeta tube interrupted.

"Announcing: Superboy B04"

"Hi, Superboy." Miss Martian greeted, "Bone Master said you went to Metropolis. How was it?" She didn't get a response.

"You're back!" Bone Master called, running forward, only to stop half way. There was no pie in Superboy's arms. The bone thief crossed his arms, "It went that bad?"

Superboy ignored him.

"That's fine, Broody. I got you! Revenge will be got by next week's eve!"

A woman cleared her throat, "Ready for training, everyone?"

Black Canary came into the room with Martian Manhunter at her side. Miss Martian cheerfully met her uncle with a hug.

This resident bone thief smiled and made finger guns, "Canary Cream! How ya doing?"

"Better." The heroine answered raising an eyebrow, "You still have testing tonight though."

The boy's eyes grew wide as he whispered to himself, "Once more, the skee ball god has turned on me." He nodded, "I shall need to gain their favor to accomplish my quest to obtain vengeance for Broody." Bone Master turned around and wailed over at Superboy, who had been inching out of the room, "I will avenge you, SB!"

The screeching superhero called over to the sulking teenager, "Stick around. Class is in session." Black Canary waltzed to the center of the room and faced the rest of the heroes in training, "I consider it an honor to be your teacher. I'll throw a lot at you. Everything I learned about my own mentors-"

"She's talking about Wildcat," Bone Master said to himself. "Not the Wildcats sports team from High School Musical. Remain calm."

Black Canary flinched as she took off her jacket and continued her speech, "-and my own bruises."

"What happened?" Miss Martian asked.

"The job." The blond tossed her jacket to the side, "Now, combat is about controlling conflict. Putting the battle on your terms. You should always be acting, never reacting." The corners of Black Canary's lips twitched upwards, "I'll need a sparring partner."

Faster than a speeding bullet, Kid Flash's hand was in the air, "I volunteer!"

Bone Master couldn't help it, "Oh my skee ball god, Kid Flash is gonna die." No one bothered to gift him with a response.

Munching on the last of his banana, Kid Flash stepped forward. "After this- swish-" the red head threw his banana peel across the room and into the trash, "I'll show you my moves." As seductively as a fifteen year old could, the speedster shot a finger gun at Black Canary."

"My bad. Kid Flash is gonna die twice, maybe even three times."

Black Canary smirked and swung a fist forward, Kid Flash managed to block it with his forearm, but he was completely unprepared for the kick aimed at his legs. A few seconds into the spar and he had gotten his butt kicked into the ground, leaving him whimpering 'it hurt so good'.

"Good block," Black Canary praised as she helped him up. "Did anybody see what he did wrong?"

"Ooo, he hit on teacher and got served?"

"Dude!"

Bone Master put his hands on his hips, "I was right. Killed three times, and the final blow was dealt by his best friend."

"He allowed me to dictate the terms of-"

"Oh please," Superboy interrupted. "With my powers, the battle's always on my terms." He held his hands palms up in fists and stared at them.

"Broody, she just murdered Kid Flash."

"I'm a living weapon." The clone put his hands to his side, "And this is a waste of my time."

Black Canary quirked up an eyebrow and smuggly grinned, "Prove it."

"One of my only friends is going to die."

The raven head got up close and personal, tensions raised, and then without a word the fight began. Superboy launched his fist at Black Canary, who simply grabbed the clone at the wrist and used his momentum to throw him over her shoulder. It was over the same way it had been with Kid Flash, with the younger on the ground.

Robin laughed, barely able to cover his mouth after Aqualad elbowed him. Miss Martian watched, wanting to see what would happen next. Bone Master on the other hand, held a thumbs up as Superboy got up and cheered him on, "Woot! You go, Broody! Just to let you know, if Black Canary kills you, I'm just gonna get revenge on Superman for you. Canary Cream is too scary for me to touch."

The clone glared at Black Canary.

She kept on teaching, "You're angry. Good, channel that anger into-"

Superboy raged at her, but it didn't seem matter. The blond flipped over him, landing in a crouch, and swiped at the teenager's legs, knocking him onto the floor again. Graciously, the heroine offered a hand to Superboy, but he knocked it out of the way and stood up on his own.

"That's it I'm done."

"Training is mandatory," Black Canary stoically reminded.

The cave's computer came to life and showed Batman on the screen, "Batman to the Cave. Five hours ago a menace attacked Green Arrow and Black Canary. The attacker was capable of studying, then duplicating the powers and abilities of its opponents." On the screen was an android beating the heck out of all the heroes that crossed its path.

Bone Master hummed quietly, "Copy and Paste has a physical form and it has painted on orange hair."

"Arrow called in reinforcements, which nearly proved disastrous, as our foe gained more and more power with each new combatant."

"Whoa, one powers with the entire league?" Kid Flash said with wonder.

"I don't understand how a robot does that." Bone Master chided in. "It's a robot!It has to have some sort of limit! Can it copy magic? Because you need a soul for that-"

"In the end, it took eight leaguers four hours to defeat and dismantle the android."

"And then sometimes, you need to make a blood pact or draw some kind of rune onto something in order to do the magic-"

"An android?" Robin questioned as he stepped forward, "Who made it T. O. Morrow?"

"And other times, you have to it passed onto you like I think Captain Marvel's power is. By the way-"

Batman applauded Robin deduction, "Good guess, Robin, but Red Tornado doesn't think so."

"Is it Captain Marvel or Shazam now? Because I refuse to call him anything other than Captain Marvel-"

"The technology bares the signature of Professor Ivo." Martian Manhunter added.

"Ivo?" Aqualad asked, "But Ivo's dead."

"Or so we all thought."

Bone Master paused his rant, "Wait, you people still mark the bad guys as dead?" The bone thief glanced around in confusion, "I figured everyone gave up on that and just marked them all as MIA until we see them pop up again? Necromancy and faking your own death is super trendy."

No one answered the tan boy, who finally shrugged his shoulders and shut up for the rest of the briefing. Which went along exactly how everyone would think it would. Once dismissed, Bone Master put his hands behind his head and moved out, "I call being on Supey's team!"

Black Canary grabbed his shoulder, "You're still not getting out of testing."

Blinking, Bone Master unhesitatingly said, "You scare me. Can I please go with Superboy, Traffic Light, and the others?"

"No, you know it's part of your parole."

"Okay then, just let me do something real quick." Bone Master shouted as loud as he could over to the resident clone,"While you're gone, I'll work in the whole boyscout revenge thing! Remember! I believe in you!"

Superboy grunted as a response.

The rest of the team headed out as Bone Master sighed and looked over to Black Canary, "So, what's first on the list of ways you plan to torture me?"

"Hand to hand combat. Batman had shockingly little on your martial arts skills."

"Ah, yes."

The super heroine raised an eyebrow, "Any reason why?"

"Yes."

Black Canary nodded, "Then we'll start right away." She moved them to the center of the room and put her arms up. Bone Master followed her lead and got into a fighting stance. Seconds ticked by like in the earlier fights and Black Canary made the first move.

Bone Master jumped back and increased the distance between them. Black Canary had none of that. She kept on coming at him, sending a roundhouse kick at his head. The bone thief repeated his action and got himself further away from the screeching superhero. He barely made it out of the way of an upper cut aimed at his gut. The weird haired teen attempted to get away from Black Canary again, this time degrading into a full out run from the older blond.

Bone Master just kept running.

"You're fast and that's good, but you need to dodge-"

"I am dodging!" Bone Master cried as he sprinted across the room, "Long term dodging!"

Stopping her assault, Black Canary sighed, "I'm going to say you have no experience in hand to hand combat." She sauntered over to the teenager, who had stopped gracefully scrambling around the room, "Am I correct?"

Bone Master nodded, "That would be accurate, yes."

"Then we'll move on and test your academic and cognitive abilities."

"Okay," Bone Master agreed, "But can I make a request?"

"I don't see why not."

He slipped his hands into his purple trench coat pockets, "I need to go to a place called 'Bibbo's Diner' if we finish early."

The first test was a multitude of packets, each on different subjects with a varying grade level of difficulty from kindergarten to college level; a necessary addition to the test as the league had no records of Bone Master attending school. Black Canary sat them all out in front of Bone Master in a row, "Next, you'll go through these packets and answer all the questions you can. Skip the ones you can't answer." She pointed at each thing of papers as she named them. "There's math, language, history, science, and a fifth packet that Batman has put together on information, that is usual in our profession as crime fighters." The blond handed him a few pencils, "As you finish them, I'll grade them. Do you understand?'

Bone Master cackled and gave two thumbs up,"Easy peasy!" He picked up the math packet and started to breeze through them. Black Canary was almost impressed at the speed he went through them and didn't even say a word when she was handed the first packet. Seemed like the team had another genius in its ranks. She checked off each correct question and went onto the next quick enough. But frowned when she reached a certain point. The screeching hero put down her pen and skimmed over the rest of the packet. She checked off the few questions she found answered as correct and picked up the next packet she was handed. It was about the same as the other one. All the packets were like this with large chunks missing.

Finishing marking off the last one, Black Canary put down her pen and cleared her throat, "Well, your results are… interesting to say the least." She put all the stacks together in one pile, "Let me ask you, Bone Master, did you honestly only answer the questions you could?"

"Yep!" The teenager rested his elbows on the table and held up his head with his hand, "Everything I can do I did and all the stuff I can't I left out like that awkward last cookie no one wants to take."

"Then, I'm afraid we can't let you go to school with the others in the upcoming school year." Black Canary opened up the math packet, "You were able to do basic math and delve into exponents to a certain point, but from there you didn't do any of the other math problems, except for the advanced abstract questions." She flipped open the language packet, "Your language skills are intriguing, you show fluency in Spanish, Swahili, English, German, Arabic, Turkish, Portuguese, and multiple others, some I don't even recognize."

Nodding, Bone Master remarked, "The magic community is wonderful. I'm not even sure what I'm speaking half the time, when I'm there."

Black Canary hummed in agreement, "But you show little finesse when it comes to the technical side of these languages, but in the same way someone who's native to the language is." She picked up the history and science packets, "Your history and science knowledge follow a similar pattern, you know a lot about anything pertaining to paleontology, biology, mythology, and local customs, but not much else."

"It's weird, right?" Bone Master cackled and threw his head back in laughter, "It's like I have a connection to bones or something!"

"Lastly," Black Canary put the packet Batman prepared on the top of the pile, "You put a very detailed description of how you hacked into the batcave in order to wish Robin a 'Happy Halloween', but then put down the simplest way to figure out how to get somewhere is to hack a government satellite, use it to figure out where you're not, and plot your course from there." The blond put her hands together, "It seems like you were trying hard not to put down to google it."

Bone Master blinked, "What's a google?"

Cognitive ability tests were handled next in Black Canary's office in the cave. Bone Master took a seat on the floor and stayed there when Black Canary didn't tell him to get in a seat. The process was quiet. He did some IQ tests, had his reaction time tested with a screen that had random little dots appear and required him to press a button every time he saw one, and played a word association game or two with Black Canary.

The two talked for an hour while Black Canary finished up the paperwork for the assessment. "Now, I just need you to answer a few questions and we can finish this."

Bone Master perked up, "And then we can go to Bibbo's Diner?"

"I think we have time to." Black Canary pushed aside one folder and grabbed another, "Are you ready to proceed?"

"The opposite of no!"

"Alright, date of birth?"

He clapped his hands, "I don't actually know, so I chose October sixth for Mad Hatter Day!"

Black Canary marked it down, "Age?"

"Currently," Bone Master grinned, "I'm three years old because I only got around to picking a birthday three years ago."

That got a laugh out of Black Canary. There was actual logic behind the joke, stupid logic, but logic nonetheless. She nodded again, "Nationality? Batman has you listed as stateless, but the league has the connections to have you listed as an American citizen."

"Nah," Bone Master pawed at the bowl of marbles on the coffee table before him, "I'm good being as indefinable as possible."

"That just leaves one last question." Black Canary put a few things away, "Are you aware you can be diagnosed with-"

Bone Master stood up and cut her off, "Being potentially late for Bibbo's Diner?" He marched towards the exit of the room, "Yes, yes I am. Let's get going.

Bibbo's Diner was one of those places you went to on a lunch break if you knew where it was. The interior was retro with neon lights illuminating the perimeter of the room and booths with clashing colors. It had an atmosphere all its own and that's why Clark liked it. Though it helped the place was kind enough to keep quiet about local reporter, Clark Kent, and billionaire playboy, Bruce Wayne, meeting up for a good meal.

The two had just started talking after giving their orders and didn't notice the door opening to reveal a certain bone thief walk in with Black Canary, dressed in civilian clothing and being addressed as 'CC'. Bone Master went straight up to the counter and gave his order as 'CC' amusedly watched him.

"Something tells me this isn't about dessert," Clark remarked.

"The boy needs you."

"No," the reported snapped, "He needs you. He needs Red." Blue eyes gazed out the window, "I'm just a reminder of what he's not."

"Honey," a waitress at the counter prodded, "Are you sure you want to buy that much pie?"

"Yes, it is very important that I buy you out of pie for the entire week."

Bruce narrowed his eyes slightly, "Sorry Clark, but you're dead wrong."

"Can you even pay for this much pie?"

"Of course, I can, CC." The boy paused and considered something, "Actually, I could probably buy this place, but that's overkill and I don't mess with two things. Intimidating women and overkill."

"Look," Bruce reasoned, "I know he troubles you, but he's here."

"Honey, I'll let you buy us out of apple pie for the entire week, but can I ask why?"

"My friend's dad wants nothing to do with him and now my friend has to live in a group home with me. The whole thing's traumatized him. I know his dad comes here for the apple pie, so I'm making sure he can't get any."

"Let me get this straight, you wanted to come here to Bibbo's Diner to make sure your friend's father couldn't get apple pie?"

Bone Master beamed, "You know me so well, CC." He crossed his arms, "But I promised Broody revenge and revenge I shall get him. His dad hurt him and I will make him smile in any absurd way possible."

"You have to get over the how and why." Bruce's tone pressed the importance of the issue, "Trust me on this, this boy needs his father."

The waitress nodded, "You know what, I had an absent father as a girl. I'll give you two weeks worth of apple pie by the end of next week and everything we have in the diner to you, right now. And if I see this fellow, I'll ban the entire place from selling him a single scrap of any kind of pie." The gray haired woman shook her head, "A child needs their father and if he can't get the balls to be a man, he doesn't deserve pie."

"I'm not his father!" Clark stood up and put his hat on, "Put that pie to go."

Bone Master innocently pointed at Clark, "Hey, it's him!"

"Sweet heavens, that was fast." The woman crossed her arms, "You, sir, are no longer allowed to eat pie here."

Upon hearing Bone Master loudly call out Clark's presence and a woman banning the reporter from getting pie here, Bruce finally got up and saw Bone Master and Black Canary standing behind him. The billionaire sighed and went on over to deal with the whole thing. If they were lucky, they could get everything settled and head back to the cave without drawing too much attention to themselves.

The debrief on the Amazo escort mission finished up. Superboy had apologized to Black Canary in his own angsty way, and Aqualad, Robin, and Kid Flash found reassurance in the fact their friend was secretly backing them up. The mood was broken up as soon as Bone Master came into the room with his hands full of plates of apple pie and yelling, "Broody! SB! Superboy! Guess who got your revenge?" Everyone turned and stared at him.

Kid Flash sighed, "And I had almost convinced myself Bone Master wasn't on the team."

"What did you do?" Robin accused with narrowed eyes, watching as the bone thief handed Superboy a plate grossly overloaded with pie.

Cackling, Bone Master answered as he took a huge bite out of his own piece of pie, "I bought a diner out of their apple pie." He swallowed, "And then the old lady, who co-owns the place, banned Superman, who was there with Batman, from ever buying any kind of pie from there again." The tan boy smiled, "It was one of the best things I've accidentally ever done."

"Wait," Kid Flash interjected, "You snuck out to buy pie? Doesn't that violate your parole?"

Robin grinned, "Dude, that means Bone Master's off the team!" The boy wonder high fived the speedster.

"Actually," Black Canary corrected with a disappointed expression, "I was with him the entire time. In fact, Bone Master asked if we could go there,t when we were done with his testing."

"And now, it will only be me, SB, Gils, M'n'M, and everyone else in the room who gets to eat the twenty pies in the kitchen." Bone Master declared. He stuffed his face his another fork full of pie, "I ended getting some other kinds of pie today too." The boy thief shrugged, "Oh well, maybe if you're nice enough to me, I'll let you have some of the other pies I have coming."

"This is good pie." Superboy complimented as he finished his plate.

Bone Master laughed, "I told you we win if we have pie."


End file.
